why do we stop writing?

8:11 PM

5.23.2019



So I guess I should elaborate a little more from the last entry that after months (years?) I came back and was like HEY I WROTE A BOOK! Well, the truth of the matter is, a lot has changed and I haven't been able to put my pen to paper, so to speak, as well as I once did. I was going through something. A lot of somethings, if I'm being honest, and writing here just didn't seem appropriate. I still wrote, just in several of the random notebooks I have in my presence (all for specific types of writing, because of course).

Work became a lot more complicated and demanding than I expected and I threw myself into it. I don't regret it, it was a very strategic career move that may actually pay off in the long run. I put the book to the side because I was satisfied. Then one eve, without really any reason, I was like, I must publish this thing. So with a few clicks of the free Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing website, the book was out there (no sponsorship, just merely a fan). Is it perfect? No. Is the formatting my favorite? Nah. Whoever has currently purchased one of the 50 already sold copies is in for a really awesome first edition? Hell yes. Do I care? No. It's what it was and it's out there are real and I have the luxury of tweaking it on my own time and if it gets picked up, great, if not, my entire family and immediate friends now know about my sex life. What could be sweeter? Though I will say, and sorry dad, it's just how I speak, I feel pretty fucking spectacular.

In this aspect of my life.

Sure, I wrote a book and it's out there and life is great but there are still some things going on right now that truly are devastating. This is not the platform to hash that out, believe me, but just know, that even doing one thing that puts yourself out there (especially when your first official first grade boyfriend Reece buys it, hi Reece!) and make you feel phenomenal, you can still be dying slowly on the inside and that is okay. Shit happens and one way or another, something will work out.

Or so I'm told.

I may not be a CEO, but I'm CEO of my life.

We stop writing because we find other things to fill that voice. But it never feels quite right, does it?

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