i am going to die alone

4:00 PM

11.14.2017



Today I had a near-death experience.

It was supposed to be a way to rewind after all the stress in my body settled in the upper left side of my back, right under my neck. My shoulder area? I'm by no means fancy but I do have a jetted tub and as much as I love baths I rarely utilize them. Because of the pain, I decided to turn the jets on and settle in to let them do the job they're there to do. The water flow hit the exact right spot and it felt amazing.

That is, until the chain of my necklace was sucked up into the jet and proceeded to try and strangle me.

Lucky for me, it was a brief struggle and I was able to set myself free, but for a legit minute, I thought my legacy was to die in that tub. It would actually be kind of perfect. I love baths, I take them often, especially in the winter and after a stressful day and this particular day had both components.

No longer do I worry that I'll just choke on food and my dog will eat my face, but now I get to worry that I'll be strangled in the bathtub by a thin metal chain. Oh, you jets defy me.

I like my alone time. I like living by myself and not having to answer to anyone. It's a luxury that a lot of people my age don't have and until my romantic situation sorts itself out I'm going to relish in the quiet...if my tub doesn't murder me first.

You hear me, tub? I won't let you get me down. I'll be back, wearing a necklace, using the jets, but I won't let you get me down.

This is why I can't have nice things.

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sup fool.

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