emo friday, the prologue...the beginning of what could be a thing

6:15 PM


What is emo?

By now I'm sure most people are familiar with the ever-growing Emo Nite but what may not be so known is that they recently put out a ten-minute documentary describing what they are all about. To someone like me, someone who discovered how insanely hopeful sad music can make you during those high school years, it spoke to me in ridiculous amounts.

After viewing the documentary a few days ago it left my mind and that was that. Today I was sitting at work and I had a rather "abrupt" conversation with a superior and I went back to my desk feeling pretty small. I sat in my chair, put on my headphones and turned on my Spotify playlist entitled Close The Bedroom Door Because This Is Highschool. It wasn't until I left that I realized that even at thirty-one years old, I still identify with my eighteen-year-old emo self. When I'm angry, sad, feel like I'm not being listened to, I revert back to the music that made me feel understood. These bands knew what it was like to be sad. Crying made me feel better. Being sad made me feel happy. No matter how old I get my habits are the same. I am an emo kid. I may not have black hair or swoopy bangs anymore. I may have traded my band t-shirts for more upscale black fabric. I wear heels instead of chucks but my heart is still on my fucking sleeve.

These bands made me feel. I met some of my best friends to this day, most of which live on the other side of the country because we all decided to hop online and talk about Good Charlotte. Last night one of them traveled miles to go to a Brand New concert, and only got three hours of sleep before going to work today. Because she is an adult and she has a job. She makes sacrifices for the music she loved in 2003. I've found just by connecting with these people on social media that they all do it. We all still drive around belting out Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue at the top of their lungs. Alkaline Trio is a go to when we're angry and want to murder our exes. Maybe Fall Out Boy makes us feel clever and Dashboard Confessional makes us feel in love.

Brand New said it perfectly, and even if I was eighteen at the time I didn't realize it would actually be true...that I would stay eighteen forever.

I'm going to write my own story and explain where this began with me and why it still is important to me today. I'm hoping to talk to more people and get their story. I want to see the similarities and differences in our experiences.

For now, I will leave you with all the songs I love that will make you want to cut yourself and cry.

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sup fool.