sunday thought bubbles 9.11.2017

7:25 PM


I'm back from Montana, I turned my phone back on and wow. Shit happened. So that's great and also I'm avoiding facing it. I also am avoiding facing the reality that I once again have to leave my bubble tomorrow to go back to work which I currently have a like/hate relationship with. I'll go because I have to, but I'd rather stay in the bubble a bit longer. My routine is off, my sleep schedule is off, I hope tomorrow I don't have a mini-panic attack before going in because I've fully reached my time off limit for the year. Since returning, I haven't looked at my book manuscript and I really need to get through this second revision in order to start letting other people look at it and tell me if it's bullshit or not. I'm almost finished with Gilmore Girls and so I'll need another soul-searching show I've already watched here in a few days because when I binge watch something I BINGE watch. My appetite that grew healthier while gone is back to being relatively non-existent and the urge to retaliate feeling shitty on someone is still growing. It's not me, it's not my style, but I'm trying this new "standing up for myself" thing and this feels like a good inaugural move. I suppose only time will tell. It's beginning to feel like fall even if it was in the 80s today, but I'm pulling out my sweaters and tights anyway, temperatures be damned. My office is always freezing so I can still wear the warmer clothing but let me tell you, the walk to and from my car is fucking brutal. That is another bridge I'll cross when I get there. Until then I'll keep moving forward and keep this new schedule that makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something even if it's only laundry.

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sup fool.