an addiction like red is hard to kill

7:44 PM

8.5.2017



I've spoken of Red before and I think we all know that where I truly do have a distaste for the actual color, the Red I speak of is in metaphoric terms. Take that as you will.

There are days where Red is ever-present in my life and I could take them or leave them, and then there are days like today, where after a break, I really wish I hadn't had to give up on them. I guess I really haven't let Red go completely as of yet, but it's definitely something I've had to consider a lot more seriously in the recent weeks. It's heartbreaking, which is almost poetic given the hue.

I think Red makes bad decisions and I can't confront them with that fact, at least not more than I already have. When someone doesn't want to listen, it's pointless to give them your best speeches. I like to save those words for when the communication lines are open and free, and they can actually be absorbed. Red seems to give me a run for my money. Red closes off and pretends to listen but sticks by their own ideals. I think in a lot of ways that indicates a strong, well-rounded person and I respect that, but when the lines I'm fed are laced with excuse after excuse for inexcusable behavior, I start to lose that respect and just become annoyed. The thing is, I've always seen a spark in Red, something I could never explain but know is there, contrary to all the proof I have invalidating that. I don't want to let go of the notion that Red will someday come to realize their full potential and actually manifest into what they are supposed to be. I can't make them, no one can, it's up to Red completely and I just need there to be some universal sign that can't be ignored that hits them in the goddamned face.

It's hard to let go of something when you know in your bones you are right. And it's really fucking unfortunate.

xjord

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