i'm exhausted

6:20 PM

I don't think I've been this tired in a long time. Mentally and physically. I need a change of venue. I need to have some space where I can dance in my underwear and listen to Brand New really like loudly. I want to have tea and coffee and pumpkin beer no matter what hour it is and sometimes have it be dead silent so I can just go over every ridiculous thought in my head. I've really gotten ridiculous lately in case maybe you didn't know.

These last few months have brought a lot of unexpected changes. Most are great and some are okay, some are a little strange to get used to but overall good. I'm not patient but I'm learning. I'm not selfish but I find myself wanting to be. I'm wanting a lot more than life can give me and I'm learning to accept you can't always get everything that you want. I've changed a lot of my perspectives recently. I'm okay with that. Never thought I'd say that in my life. I thought you couldn't have one without the other (metaphors, man) but I'm thinking if I'm given the opportunity maybe I can? I'd be willing to give it a shot for what I'd be gaining. Who the fuck am I saying this? Classic Jordan, always worried about everything that she has no control over. I'm a textbook example of paranoid and I find myself even letting that slip out of me as of late. Sometimes circumstances shift and you have no other choice but to embrace the unfamiliar and hope that it takes you where you know it should go. I just wish it wasn't so hard to be happy.

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0 speaks

sup fool.