the sky ride

1:58 PM

A personal note.

Today has been one of the longest days of my life. The hilarious part about it is that I have really little room to be upset in the first place or to even give a shit about anything that is going on but I find myself in the middle of something I never wanted to be in but completely let myself become involved in. As if that makes sense, really. Run-on sentence, new paragraph.

The range of emotions I’ve had to experience today is outstanding, from delight to wanting to throw up, to spontaneously tearing up to laughing at how ridiculous I’ve let things become. I’ve felt rage, I’ve felt sadness and embarrassment. I’ve only felt the need to escape like this a handful of times, to get let everything calm down before I reintroduce myself to the situation just a little more hardened and a little less emotional. I think maybe that’s why things happen that make you have to come to terms with how to function. Ten years ago I was emotional at the drop of a hat. I learned to become guarded and the first six months of this year really tested my ability to feel real emotions again, good and bad, and I thought I was doing so well. I will do well again, walls are very easy to put back up when there are only a few people you give a damn about sharing things with. One perk right there.

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0 speaks

sup fool.