when do you just stop?

11:04 PM

I've done a lot of thinking this week. I've also watched a lot of The OC and with that comes a lot of self-thought and self-deprecation. Maybe not, but it's a fun thought.

I start to wonder on occasion why I validate myself on the opinion of others. I'll be honest, I care what people think. I do, and sometimes I put on a show for what people will like. I feel that at times the "real" me or who I actually am or who I'm trying to be, I get them confused sometimes, is either going to push people away or make them wonder if they ever really knew me.

It sounds rather dramatic.

I know myself. I've had a bit to figure it out. Sometimes I'm a little strange, a little granola, and then I'll switch to fancy. I can adapt to my surroundings like the appropriate creature, but then again, why? I guess I'm a little scared to to let someone actually see me. Why is that so intimidating?

I really just want that feeling of absolute comfort. I'm sure it'll happen someday, if I can let it but until then, I"m going to make a promise to myself to try and live as myself and try to worry a lot less about what people think.

So there's that.

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0 speaks

sup fool.