(this is also rather old)

4:37 PM

I once found a letter in Spin magazine that was made up entirely of lyrics. I decided one time circa 2008 to make my own.

Dear Friend,

I never know how to say what I know how to write.

I think that possibly maybe I’m falling for you. Yes there’s a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you. It’s hard to say what it is I see in you. You’re a part-time lover and a full-time friend. You spend your lazy, endless, crazy days inside my head. I never claimed to understand what happens after dark, but my fingers catch the sparks at the thought of touching you. I wanna fall asleep with you tonight. It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. I never really cared until I met you. I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else but you. And so it is, just like you said it would be, time goes easy on me, most of the time.

How hard should I fall before it’s my turn to be heard? Sometimes I wanna give up, I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight. I try to love ya baby, but sometimes you’re just a pain in the ass. I wish it didn't hurt, hurt like this, to say these things to you.

I listened in, yes I’m guilty of this, you should know this. I broke down and wrote you back before you had a chance to. Forget forgotten, I am moving past this, giving notice. I have to go, yes I know that feeling, know you’re leaving. One thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars, I’d walk to you if I had no other way. You walk into a restaurant all strung out from the road and you feel the eyes upon you as you’re shaking off the cold. And when you are out there on the road for several weeks of shows and when you scan the radio I hope this song will guide you home.

I want to save you. Maybe you’re gonna be the one that saves me, but for now we’re laying hips to hips. There’s steam on a window, salt in a kiss, and two hearts have never pounded like this. One night will remind you how we touched and went our separate ways. I hope to God I mean a little more than the sounds that escape your tired, 4am lips. I wanna love you but I better not touch. I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop. I wanna kiss you but I want it too much. We’ll climb in the backseat like when we first met, you’ll lay on your back I’ll lay on your chest. It was a good lay, good lay. You’re making up your white lies, you’re putting on your bedroom eyes. I just hope that you notice the way it feels when we kiss.

What happens when I’m not around? Do you ever think of me? Was it something I said or something I did? Did the words not come out right? Quit playing games with my heart. Why can’t I feel anything for anyone other than you? If this is love then I don’t wanna know pain. You give love a bad name. I wanted to stay, I wanted to play, I wanted to love you, we’re only this far and only tomorrow leads my way. I don’t believe in true love anyway. Love, it taught me to lie…I don’t wanna be in love, but refuse to believe that it’s only me feeling. We’re a different pair, just something out of step.

Time casts its spell on you so you won’t forget me. I know I could have loved you but you would not let me. One day you’ll believe in me. I didn't want to need you. You hold the rights I’ll never own. What I am to you, you do not need. Just take away the words I say cause I know that you don’t feel the same. Lost for you I’m so lost…for you. I’m screaming out loud and nobody’s there, I look like hell and I just don’t care, drinking more than I've ever drank and sinking down lower than I've ever sank. When I’m feeling lonely and I’m sure I've had enough, you send the comfort coming in from above. If a double-decker bus, crashes into us, to die by your side would be a heavenly way to die.

This boy I know he has a heart of glass, it is gold inside but it has crystallized. You were the last good thing about this part of town. When I see you smile I can face the world. I live to let you shine. Maybe I would have been something you’d be good at? But now we’ll never know. Tell me how it feels to be the one who turns the knife inside of me. I know I made it seem like all was written down and I hid all my pain and now I bring it out. I should have known you’d bring me heartache, almost lovers always do. You never told me what you wanted; I’m only guessing you’re wanting me. If I stay I risk losing a part of me that I once loved. Words can’t say and I can’t do enough to prove it’s all for you. I feel like a fool so I’m going to stop troubling you, but I guess that I can live without you, without you I’ll be miserable at best. Nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change. Please, please, please, let me get what I want this time. Don’t go, I need you more than ever, love you always and forever.

Sincerely, Me.

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sup fool.

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